Chapter 11 - Ignoring Problem Behavior
The Catch
Ignoring works best when you understand that the problem
behavior might get worse before it gets better.
If a child is accustomed to getting attention for the problem
behavior, it is very possible that the behavior will temporarily
increase before it decreases.
Example:
If your child has always gotten your attention for screaming,
you might find that when you first ignore the screaming
that it gets worse. That's because your child knows that
it always worked before. But, if you continue to ignore
the screaming every time it happens and you also use labeled
praise when your child is quiet (CATCH YOUR CHILD BEING
GOOD), the screaming will decrease.
Can I ignore all behaviors that are
problems for me?
No, of course not. There are some behaviors that you can't
ignore. Danger, to your child or to others, cannot be ignored.
Example 1
| Mother |
Child |
| Putting dishes away |
Runs in and says "I want to go outside and play.' |
| "Not
now. It's nap time. You can go out after your nap."
|
Screams "I want to go out " NOW!" |
| Turns back on child |
Screaming continues |
| Keeps an eye on child, no eye contact,
no talking |
Louder screaming |
| Continued ignoring |
Child begins to quiet |
| "I
like it when you're quiet."
|
Child begins to scream |
| Turns back on child. |
Child begins to quiet |
| Turns to child and says "I
like it when you're quiet." |
Child remains quiet |
| Hugs child. "I
really like your quiet voice." |
Child smiles |
Example 2
| "How Not To Do It" |
|
| Mother |
Child |
| Cooking in the kitchen |
Runs in and says, "I want a cookie!" |
| "Not
now. You can have one after lunch."
|
"I want a cookie NOW!" |
| "Not
now. I said you can have one after lunch."
|
"But mommy, I'll eat my lunch, I promise." |
| "Not
now. I said you can have one after you eat your lunch.
This is the last time I'm going to tell you."
|
"Now mommy, please. I want a cookie NOW." |
| Gets frustrated. "Okay,
here's a cookie. Now leave me alone."
|
Runs out of the kitchen with her cookie. |
What do you think this child will do next time he/she wants
a cookie?
| "How To Do It" |
|
| Mother |
Child |
| Cooking in the kitchen |
Runs in and says, "I want a cookie!" |
| "Not
now. You can have one after lunch."
|
"I want a cookie NOW!" |
| "Not
now. I said you can have one after lunch."
|
"Now mommy, I want a cookie now! I'll
eat my lunch, I promise." |
| Ignores child |
"But mommy, I'll eat my lunch, I
promise." |
| Ignores child |
"Mommy please!" |
| Ignores child |
Child leaves the kitchen |
What do you think will happen
the next time he/she wants a cookie?
Some Things to Think About
What do you think would happen if the child
came in two times asking for a cookie and the first time her
mother ignored her, but the second time she gave her the cookie?
What do you think would happen the next time
that child wanted a cookie?
Now suppose that child sat down and ate lunch.
Then, as soon as she was finished eating her mother said:
"Wow you ate all your lunch. Here's a cookie for you!" What
would that child have learned?
|
